Silent Flutter (The Butterfly Series) Read online

  “We’ll see,” my mom answered through a grin. Any time she said “we’ll see,” it always meant, yes. When my sisters and I were growing up, we always crossed our fingers for a “we’ll see” when we asked our mom to go somewhere or do something, because we knew that meant that we were getting what we wanted. “You girls be careful driving out to The Pasture. Cops patrol like crazy on nights like tonight.”

  “I know, Mom, we will.” I walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek. “See you next year!” I cheered as I walked out the back door that led to the garage.

  “Girl, what took you so long?” Mary asked when I slid into the back seat next to Tandi. “I’ve been honking for like an hour,” she exaggerated.

  “I was talking to my mom, trying to convince her and Dad to go to a party at the next door neighbor’s house tonight. And it’s only 8:07,” I added, rolling my eyes and sticking my tongue out at her in the rear view mirror.

  “Your parents are so cute and so fun, they should go to that party. They really don’t get out enough,” Tandi stated. “If I have your mom’s body at forty-seven, I’m definitely going to flaunt it as much as possible.” My mom did look really good for her age. She was thin and petite and her blue eyes were just as vibrant now as they were when she was my age.

  “My mom said, “We’ll see.’” I told them.

  My three best friends from high school all began to laugh. “Oh, they are definitely going, then,” Mary said, turning to look at me from the driver’s seat.

  She started off down my parent’s long driveway and then pulled out onto the back country road. Her big SUV was eerily quiet for a few minutes before Tandi finally broke the silence.

  “So, Quinn, I was actually kind of surprised when Mary said we were picking you up this year.” She looked over to me on the bucket seat opposite of hers.

  “What do you mean? Y’all always pick me up,” I answered, puzzled by her statement.

  “I don’t know. I guess I just figured your boyfriend would be driving you out there.” The way she emphasized the word, boyfriend, made me feel like she was accusing me of something. I met Mary’s eyes in the rear view mirror once again, but she quickly glanced over at Shanna. I knew at that moment that the three of them had already discussed this before I got in the car. When I didn’t respond, Tandi continued. “Isn’t this like y’all’s anniversary or something?” she asked.

  As soon as she said “anniversary” my stomach dropped. Last New Year’s was technically the start of our relationship, in turn making this our One Year Anniversary. I completely forgot. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own thoughts and worries about He and I altogether, that I hadn’t even stopped to think about the fact that we should be celebrating this small milestone as a couple. No wonder He was so negative and grumpy on the phone earlier. He probably has been waiting for me to say something about it all day, but instead, I just went on and on about going to The Pasture with our friends for the rest of our lives. Then I went and made things even worse by telling Him that I was riding out there with The Girls. UGH! I can be so dense sometimes.

  “Shit! I completely forgot,” I told The Girls. “He’s probably pissed at me for not remembering, and for not wanting to ride with Him tonight. Shit!” I said again.

  “It’s no big deal,” Mary consoled. “We thought maybe you guys got into a fight or something and that’s why you wanted me to come pick you up. But if y’all aren’t fighting, then this is an easy fix.”

  It wasn’t really a fight, I thought to myself. I don’t even know if He knows that I was angry at Him for crushing my future plans. But I know for sure that He’s angry at me about the driving situation. “How is this an easy fix? I completely and totally dropped the ball on this one.” The Girls began to giggle uncontrollably. What’s so funny?” I asked. Just as they were about to answer, it hit me, “Oh, ha ha, dropped the ball, its New Year’s. I’m so punny,” I added with little enthusiasm. “I’m serious, you guys, how do I fix this?”

  Once they finished laughing at my unintentional pun, Mary finally said, “All you have to do is play it off. If He asks you why you haven’t mentioned it being your anniversary yet, all you have to do is say that you didn’t want to start counting it until after midnight. I mean, technically your first kiss wasn’t until then anyways. You can just say that you thought of your anniversary as being the first, not the thirty-first,” she stated very diplomatically.

  She had a point. “You have a point,” I told her. “I guess, really, I don’t think of our anniversary as the thirty-first, so I won’t even be lying.” I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince my friends, or myself.

  “Doesn’t really seem like you’ve thought about it at all,” Tandi mumbled under her breath. I acted as if I didn’t hear her. She didn’t really have any business judging me and my relationship when she had yet to have one that lasted more than a couple of months.

  “So, who has the travel mug?” I asked in an effort to change the subject. Suddenly, I was in the mood for a drink.

  After closing and locking up the gate, Mary drove us down the long, dark path that led to the campsite. Just like the year before, a fire had already been started in the pit…the guys had beat us there. I was hoping that I would be able to get at least one full drink in before He arrived, but His truck was the first one I saw when we pulled around to the parking spots.

  I hopped out of the Tahoe and made my way around the trailers and towards the freshly lit fire. Callum was sitting close to the flames, sporadically fueling them with small twigs and branches that he had gathered from the ground around him. He glanced up at me from beneath his lashes as I got closer. I could tell he was taking in my clothes, hair and make-up, and assessing which comment to make about how late we were. “Well, don’t you look fancy?” he remarked when I sat on the stump beside him.

  I looked down at my outfit: crimson sweater dress, black leggings, and calf-high black leather boots. So it was a bit much for The Pasture, but I took advantage of any holiday as an excuse to get dressed up: no matter where I was going. “It’s New Year’s,” I said defensively.

  “Hey,” he said, putting his palms out in front of him, “I was just giving you a compliment. You look nice. You girls always look nice. I’m starting to wonder why y’all started hanging out with us goof balls in the first place.” He jerked his thumb behind him, and that’s when I first saw Him. He was standing with Keith by one of the trucks, pulling heavy ice chests from the bed of it. Once they got them on the ground, they began to drag them towards the trailers where The Girls were busy mixing drinks.

  “Thanks,” I replied shyly to my friend’s compliment. It was unusual coming from him, but not unwelcomed. It wasn’t often that we got to see the sweet, sensitive side of Callum. “And we hang out with y’all because you are our favorite goof balls in the whole wide world. Besides, what other guy would ditch a date with a hot new girl to hang out with his strictly platonic girlfriends on New Year’s?”

  His eyes darted up to mine quickly. “Who told you I had a date?”

  Tandi filled us in on the way out to The Pasture. She told us Callum had met some new girl at a bar a few days before, and she invited him to a New Year’s party at her friend’s house. He didn’t want any of us to know, so he made her promise not to say anything, but Tandi was also not known for her superb secret-keeping skills.

  “Word gets around,” I said. “So tell me, why does a single, handsome guy like you, pass up a date with someone who is apparently, “Giselle Bundchen hot”?’ I asked.

  “Pssh,” he replied, swatting the air in front of him, “and pass up an automatic chance at some action? At least with you guys I know I’m guaranteed a mini-make-out session at midnight. I would’ve had to work too hard with the chick from the bar. And by the way, I’m gunning for the triple kiss this year.” And just like that, the real Callum was back.

  He came sauntering over and sat in the chair next to my cut-off tree stump a few minutes later. He didn’t see
m to be in any hurry to get close to me. I had been sitting in the same place, next to Callum, since we arrived, waiting for Him to make the initial contact so that I could gauge whether or not He was angry with me for forgetting that it was our anniversary. “What’s up,” He asked as He sat down, not bothering to look me in the eyes.

  What’s up? His voice was cold and distant. What kind of greeting is that? He’s definitely mad, I assessed. “Umm, hey Babe. What’s up?” I mirrored His words making sure that He could hear the questioning in my voice. Surely He could sense my confusion, but He continued the casual façade.

  “How was the drive?” He might as well have asked me about the weather. Why is He acting like I’m just some acquaintance? “Not bad,” I answered. “Would’ve been better with you, though,” I said, sliding my hand lightly from His thigh to His knee. I wanted to get past this awkward moment and just get back to being us.

  “Oh, I’m sure you had fun with The Girls,” He replied frigidly. His eyes drifted down to my hand on His knee, but He didn’t respond to my touch.

  “Quinn, your drink is ready!” Tandi shouted, cutting the tension between us. When I didn’t answer her right away, Shanna walked over with a plastic cup in her hand.

  “Rum and diet coke?” Her quiet voice was almost inaudible over the loud music coming from the speakers.

  “Thanks, Shanna,” I said, taking the drink from her hand. “I’ll be over in a sec to help y’all make more, K?” I didn’t look up at her when I talked. I was looking straight into His eyes, trying with all that I had to will the awkwardness away.

  “We got it, girl. You two love birds go for a walk or something,” she suggested. Shanna hated it when any of us fought. I knew she could sense the tension and was trying to give us the opportunity to be alone to work it all out.

  When she walked away, I stood and offered my hand. “What do you say? Walk with me?”

  He wavered for a moment before reaching His hand out for mine and pulling Himself up and out of His chair. “Yeah, let’s walk.”

  By then, we knew The Pasture like our own backyards. We knew were to walk and what areas to avoid. I locked my fingers with His and we took off on the trail towards the thick bank of trees to the left of the campsite.

  We walked, hand-in-hand, in silence for what felt like years, when He finally spoke. “Do you want me to turn on the flashlight on my phone? It’s pretty dark out here.”

  “No, it’s ok. I feel safe with you,” I said, smiling up at Him.

  He smiled back at me, but it was half-hearted. I wanted to grab the sides of His face and shake Him out of the foul mood that He was in. “Three more hours until our anniversary, you know?”

  He stopped abruptly and turned to face me. I looked up at Him, a smile on my lips once again. “I thought you forgot,” He admitted.

  “Of course I didn’t forget,” I lied. “I’m sorry that I upset you. I just don’t count today since we technically didn’t kiss until midnight, making our anniversary January first, not December thirty-first.” That time when He smiled it reached His eyes. It was the smile I had grown to love and adore.

  “Well why didn’t you want to spend more time with me, then? Ride with me so this could feel like an actual date. An anniversary date?” His voice sounded strained, like He was holding back residual irritation with me from earlier.

  I had to think quickly. The real reason I didn’t want to ride with Him was because I was upset with how He responded about our fantasy, future New Year’s plans, but I didn’t want to dredge that up and ruin the progress we had made. “Again, I’m so sorry; I guess I just figured we’d spend all night together and all day tomorrow, since tomorrow is our actual anniversary. I didn’t think you would mind if I rode out here with The Girls.” I waited for a moment before continuing, “Do you? Mind, I mean.”

  He swept His fingers lightly across my cheek and then tucked a piece of hair back behind my ear. “Of course not, Sweetheart.” The name sounded strange again; like it did the night in the casino when He was dragging me away from the slot machines. Like an insult. I mentally shook my head in an attempt to push the thought away. It was probably just my own residual irritation with Him clouding my judgment. I leaned my cheek into His caressing touch, and at that, He leaned down and brushed a light kiss across my lips. Finally, we were getting back to normal. Back to us.

  We found a clear spot beneath a large Mesquite tree to sit down. He sat first and then I crawled into His lap, my back against His chest. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and folded them over one another in front of me. I nestled my nose into the curve of His neck so that I could drink Him in: He smelled of aftershave mixed with a deep smoky fragrance from sitting by the fire. I took a deep breath and sunk into His protective arms.

  “Mmm,” He groaned. “I wish we didn’t ever have to go back. I wish we could just stay out here, alone, in the dark all night. I can think of so many things I’d like to do to you out here all by ourselves,” He said, trailing His tongue up my neck to just below my ear.

  I don’t know if it was His words or His tongue, but my skin was instantly covered in chills. His voice was silky, yet there was a deep hunger behind them. I wanted to feed that hunger, but something inside of me wouldn’t give in just yet. I was glad that He was no longer upset with me, but for some reason, things didn’t seem resolved.

  Maybe that’s because you were the only one apologizing back there!Inner-me shouted, after months of silence. He upset you, too. He should also apologize!

  His kisses got more eager down my neck and He unclasped His hands to slide them down my waist and then back up to the sides of my breasts. When I didn’t react to His touch right away, He noticed. “What’s wrong? Don’t you want me, too?” He whispered in my ear.

  My body began to respond with more than just chills. Heat spread deep down inside of me and my hips instinctively began to rock against Him. “I do,” I breathed out, “but I think we still need to talk. About earlier. On the phone.” My words were coming out in choppy breaths because His tongue continued to tease and provoke me.

  “On the phone?” He asked quietly, still whispering in my ear. “Oh, I’m not mad anymore. I thought you forgot about our anniversary, or just didn’t give a shit, and that’s why you didn’t want to ride with me. Trust me, I’m over it,” He said with a smile while He leaned forward and flipped me over so that my back was lying on the hard ground and His body was hovering above mine.

  Well, you are not over it, Quinn! Say something before sex makes you dizzy and stupid.

  I was just about to confront Him about my reason for being upset, when He dipped His head and plunged His tongue deep into my mouth. My tongue instinctively tangled with His and my hips raised and rocked hard into His enticing body. My hands tangled in His hair as His pulled at my leggings and the thong beneath them. In seconds I was naked and the cold January air whipped at my skin and stung like thousands of tiny needles pricking me at once.

  I ripped away His sweatshirt and pulled at His jeans, seeking the warmth of His skin on mine. The fallen leaves underneath my back rustled as He maneuvered and thrust His way deep inside of me, making me cry out His name in the dark.

  “Oh, God, Quinn!” He cried out, in response, as He continued to rock himself between my trembling thighs. He lifted my hips to meet His, in return, digging my bare shoulders even harder into the cold ground beneath me. The sensation made me grip His hips, my fingertips pressing firmly into the toned side of His bare cheeks, and pull Him into me with more force than I was used to. Than He was used to. He cried out again, “Oh, God!” His moans were turning me on even more, and even in the cold, my body felt hot and overly sensitive. I could feel His every move and every sensation throughout my entire body, and I was craving Him in ways that I never thought possible.

  The dark woods made the act seem more carnal and wild; natural even. When He lifted me up to turn me around, I braced my hands on the tree in front of me and I felt a rush when the jagged bark cut i
nto my palms. He was behind me in an instant, entering me again and pleasing me to a point where I felt dizzy. And stupid. I leaned my head back to kiss Him and He eagerly leaned over my shoulder to greet my lips. His hands were grasping my waist with an incredible force that I wasn’t sure if it was pain or pleasure that I felt. I was almost certain that He was going to leave bruises, but I didn’t care. His right hand tangled in my curls as He gently but firmly pulled on it, causing my head to lean back towards His, “Quinn, I love you,” He exhaled heavily into my ear, “move in with me.”

  I answered Him in the heat of the intense moment. “Yes.”

  At that moment, we both erupted into synchronized orgasms as if it was Mother Nature’s divine plan, and His body collapsed on top of mine, nearly knocking the breath from my lungs when my stomach and chest hit the ground below me. I was panting in rhythm with His own ragged breaths, until our heartbeats evened out and we were able to stand, dress, and head back to our friends.

  The night continued on as usual. After picking leaves from my hair, we met the group back at camp. They didn’t say a word when they noticed our disheveled hair and clumps of dirt embedded in our clothing, but The Girls gave me secret smiles and The Guys winked at the two of us when we joined them around the fire. When midnight struck, He kissed me, Keith kissed Mary and Callum got his wish: he quickly grabbed Tandi and Shanna and pulled them into a lengthy triple kiss, much more successful and much more scandalous than ours from the past.

  April 27, 2012

  “I can help you get your resume together and fill out some applications if you’d like,” Mr. Mahoney, my mentor teacher at Northwest High School, offered one Friday afternoon after class. “It wasn’t that long ago that I was filling out application after application before I finally landed this job here,” he said. “I’ve got it down to an art now,” he chuckled.